Slowly getting more control of my car again?
Kind of I guess. Dad let me make another attempt at getting to target today on my own. Which happened safely. I picked up eyeliner, and blush. Finally a blush that isn't connected to a huge makeup kit.... ugh, but yeah. And I completely ran out of eyeliner, so I had to use Anna's today... Just glad I picked up some for myself. I'm gunna start buying gifts hopefully tomorrow. Hopefully I make enough off of tips and I'll be able to order Michael's plugs. Then I'll probably be broke, then I get paid on Saturday, so I'm gunna deposit that money, and find something nice for Tiffany online I guess? Along with a few other little things I think. I also still have to order Anna's thingies from eBay~ None of this shit is gunna be ready for Christmas, but they all know that haha

Shoes I'd like to own.. WHY AM I POOR.

SOME OF THESE ARE REALLY AWFUL. BUT I LIKE THEM.

But I'm really gunna try to make my next pair of shoes that I buy the UNIF HellBounds!!

I can't decide if I feel like getting a knock off pair, or just saving the money to buy the real ones... I should just get a second job.. hahaha But I can't decide wether I would buy the black or the pink ones....

I NEED THE MONEY FIRST THOUGH.

- 200 questions survey -

200: my middle name is:
Amber ~

199: i was born in:
A hospital lol St Mary's Hospital TO BE EXACT
1995 :p

198: i am really:
bored and sick

197: my cellphone company is:
shit hole sprint lol

196: my eye color is:
brown :p

195: my shoe size is:
6.5/7

194: my ring size is:
I don't even know man.

193: my height is:
5'6" maybe?

192: i am allergic to:
Basic bitchez
lol nothing

191: my 1st car was:
My beloved 2005 Chevy Aveo

190: my 1st job was:
SUCH BULLSHIT.

189: last book you read:
I don't read much. But I'd really like to find a good book to read..

188: my bed is:
covered in random shit... It's a futon lol

187: my pet:
bit my face today....

186: my best friend:
Is hot lol

185: my favorite shampoo is:
Um lol I use whatever we have

184: aim name:
JENNYTALIA~*~*~

183: piggy banks are:
Useful? wtf ? IDK WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY

182: in my pockets:
no pockets ... leggings lol

181: on my calendar:
My work days and hours ? haa

180: marriage is:
idk

179: spongebob can:
keep me entertained for hours

178: my mom:
is my mom lol

177: the last three cd's i bought were?
people but CD's? lol

176: last youtube video watched:
Some old video by Bunny I think?

175: how many cousins do you have?
TOO FUCKING MANY OKAY LOL

174: do you have any siblings?
Yeah, one half brother, two adopted sisters, and 2 foster siblings.

173: are your parents divorced?
nope

172: are you taller than your mom?
yehhh

171: do you play an instrument?
ur mom

170: what did you do yesterday?
Absolutely nothing lol

[ i believe in ]
169: love at first sight:
uM

168: luck:
I guess

167: fate:
Nah, I believe in coincidence

166: yourself:
I suppose

165: aliens:
ANCIENT ALIENSSZZZ
yes.

164: heaven:
nah

163: hell:
METAL.

162: god:
nerp

161: horoscopes:
They're interesting to read, but that's about it lol

160: soul mates:
Not sure

159: ghosts:
I guess. I saw a foggy mass go past me like.. 10 minutes ago downstairs...

158: gay marriage:
Of course.

157: war:
"Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity"

156: orbs:
I guess

155: magic:
obv

[ this or that ]
154: hugs or kisses:
Kissessss

153: drunk or high:
UNDER DA INFLUENCE

152: phone or online:
Online I guesssss

151: red heads or black haired:
I'VE BEEN BOTH AND I LIKE BOTH SO.

150: blondes or brunettes:
idgaf lol

149: hot or cold:
warm or cool

148: summer or winter:
Umm.... IDK. I hate REALLY cold weather, and I hate REALLY hot weather...

147: autumn or spring:
Both I guess

146: chocolate or vanilla:\
CHAWKLATE

145: night or day:
Night

144: oranges or apples:
Applessss

143: curly or straight hair:
Curlyyy

142: mcdonalds or burger king:
golden archezz beech

141: white chocolate or milk chocolate:
milk chocolateeeee mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

140: mac or pc:
I would prefer mac, but I have a PC so...

139: flip flops or high heals:
High heels

138: ugly and rich or sexy and poor:
SEXY. JUST SEXY LOL

137: coke or pepsi:
COKE
COCAINE

136: hillary or obama:
._.

135: burried or cremated:\
idk how i feel about this..

134: singing or dancing:
I suck at both SO

133: coach or chanel:
DEM BASIC BITCHEZ WEAR DAT SHYT SO I DUN EVEN BOTHA

132: kat mcphee or taylor hicks:
who

131: small town or big city:
Big city fer sure

130: wal-mart or target:
Targettttttttttttttttt.. Less creepy men..

129: ben stiller or adam sandler:
IDC WTF

128: manicure or pedicure:
Manicure I guess because I don't want anyone touching my feet ._.

127: east coast or west coast:
Eastttt

126: your birthday or christmas:
Birthday because I'll be 18 BITCH

125: chocolate or flowers:
chocolate

124: disney or six flags:
Disneyyyyyyyyyyy

123: yankees or red sox:
Yankees~~~~

[ here's what i think about ]
122: war:
Did I not already answer this or lol
121: george bush:
just stahp
120: gay marriage:
LUV DA GHEYZ
119: the presidential election:
It was pretty hilarous lol
118: abortion:
AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT USING IT AS BIRTH CONTROL,
or if you were just fucking to fuck and you get pregnant, that's ur fault lol
117: myspace:
DA BEST
116: reality tv:
Entertaining to watch, but it rots your brain
115: parents:
Um. MINE?!! I couldn't write enough to explain...
114: back stabbers:
fuck you
113: ebay:
LOVE, LIFE
112: sex:
DO ME.
111: work:
I like my jobbbb
110: my neighbors:
they're hoodrats I swear
109: gas prices:
Could be better could be worse..
108: designer clothes:
UM. idk. I like designer shoes...  I'm not crazy about like. gucci, prada and shit.. BASIC BITCHEZ
107: college:
I DON'TEVEN WANNA TAKL ABOUT THIS OKAY
106: sports:
I fucking hate when people fucking argue about this shit. STFU YOU ARE NOT ON THE GODDAMN TEAM SO SHUT THE FUCK UP oh my god
105: my family:
most of them SUCK and are a bunch of cunts.
104: the future:
fad;sfadsfdsf

[ last time i ]
103: hugged someone:
Yesterday I hugged my dad
102: last time you ate:
Dinner time?
101: saw someone i haven't seen in awhile:
Michael. Umm, about a week ago.
100: cried in front of someone:
I think I cried in front of Michael..
99: went to a movie theater:
I think I want to remember lol
98: took a vacation:
idk man
97: swam in a pool:
Last summer
96: changed a diaper:
NEVER
95: got my nails done:
nEVER
94: went to a wedding:
never lol
93: broke a bone:
refer to the last 3 answers
92: got a peircing:
two augusts ago?
91: broke the law:
awl da time
90: texted:
right nowwww

[ misc ]
89: who makes you laugh the most:
Tiffany, Michael, Anna and Sean
88: something i will really miss when i leave home is:
My dogs? IDK
87: the last movie i saw:
idk the name of it. but it was on T V
86: the thing that i'm looking forward to the most:
Seeing Michael again
85: the thing im not looking forward to:
School tomorrow morning...
84: people call me:
DA BADDEST BITCH OUT HERE. idk
83: the most difficult thing to do is:
STAY SOBER. jk. idkkk ugh there's a lot aha
82: i have gotten a speeding ticket:
never lol
81: my zodiac sign is:
gemini
80: the first person i talked to today was:
Michael of courseeee
79: first time you had a crush:
i dont remember dawg
78: the one person who i can't hide things from:
Tiffany and Michael
77: last time someone said something you were thinking:
Michael, ALL the time
76: right now i am talking to:
Michael and Tiffany
75: what are you going to do when you grow up:
WHO KNOWS.
74: i have/will get a job:
HAVE a job
73: tomorrow:
My package will hopefully be here
72: today:
was boring as fuck
71: next summer:
I'LL BE 18
ROAD TRIPPPPPP
70: next weekend:
I don't know lol
69: i have these pets:
that are annoying lol
68: the worst sound in the world:
My dad screaming at me LOL
67: the person that makes me cry the most is:
idk
66: people that make you happy:
Tiffany Michael and Anna
65: last time i cried:
Don't remember?
64: my friends are:
gr8
63: my computer is:
A PIECE OF SHIT OKAY
62: my school:
is a shit hole
61: my car:
Is so cute :3
60: i lose all respect for people who:
IDKF JDAS;KFJ
59: the movie i cried at was:
I DON'T CRY WATCHING MOVIES
58: your hair color is:
blackkkk
57: tv shows you watch:
The Walking Dead, Face Off, Breaking Bad, and a few others
56: favorite web site:
Tumblr, twitter
55: your dream vacation:
Tokyo Japan
54: the worst pain i was ever in was:
idk ugh
53: how do you like your steak cooked:
I DON'T EAT STEAK I'M NOT CLASSY ENOUGH
52: my room is:
A MESS OHMYGOD
51: my favorite celebrity is:
Ummm idk.
50: where would you like to be:
With Michael (lol feelings)
49: do you want children:
probz not
48: ever been in love:
merrrrrrrrrrrdjkas;fjds
47: whos your best friend:
Tiffanyyyyy of course
46: more guy friends or girl friends:
I don't have enough friends to say lol
45: one thing that makes you feel great is:
My friends
44: one person that you wish you could see right now:
Michael and Tiffanyyyy
43: do you have a 5 year plan:
Nope
42: have you made a list of things to do before you die:
kinda
41: have you pre-named your children:
no that's dumb
40: last person i got mad at:
Michael actually aha
39: i would like to move to:
New York, California, Florida
38: i wish i was a professional:
shopper

[ my favorites ]
37: candy:
chocolateeeee
36: vehicle:
MY carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
35: president:
no
34: state visited:
I liked Florida I guess
33: cellphone provider:
verizon
32: athlete:
no
31: actor:
no
30: actress:
no
29: singer:
Jordan Dreyer
28: band:
La Dispute
27: clothing store:
online stores? TOO MANY.
26: grocery store:
wtf
25: tv show:
The Walking Dead
24: movie:
Fight Club
23: website:
I answered thissss
22: animal:
catsssssssssssssssssssssss
21: theme park:
idk
20: holiday:
my birthday lol
19: sport to watch:
Baseball
18: sport to play:
Volleyball lol
17: magazine:
no
16: book:
idk
15: day of the week:
friday
14: beach:
idk
13: concert attended:
La Disute of course
12: thing to cook:
IDK
11: food:
PIZZA
10: restaurant:
FJD;SLADFKJAF
9: radio station:
fuck the radioooooooooooooo
8: yankee candle scent:
candle
7: perfum:
you spelled that wrong. so you don't get an answer
6: flower:
idkkkkkk
5: color:
black
4: talk show host:
ELLEN
3: comedian:
IDFK
2: dog breed:
CAT LOL
1: are you ready for this survey to be over?
YES UGH FINALLY JESUS/.

"Good thing I'm not on my period."

THE WORST THOUGH LITERALLY. I couldn't imagine being sick AND on my period. The thought alone nearly drives me to suicide.

Ughhh jdkslfj
This weekend has been the most uneventful weekend of my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

It's so frustrating having to stay home, and not being able to have company... NOT TO MENTION THERE'S NOT SHIT TO DO IN THIS GODDAMN HOUSE!!!?!?!

Random thought.
The other night, I had a dream that I punched Robert in the face because he was being a cunt.


I'm still feeling like shit. Hopefully I'll feel a little bit better by tomorrow, because I don't need to go to school feeling like shit. And staying home isn't really an option because my parents ALWAYS make me go to school even if I'm sick. Well.. Unless I have the flu or something. I'm pretty sure I just have a little cold because of the weather. The fuckery weather we've been having is so fucking terrible. 75 and 70 last weekend, and then 40 in the middle of this week. STAHP IT SKY STAHP.

 idk man.
Hopefully tomorrow my package gets here, I was really looking forward to getting my dress and body suit in the mail YESTERDAY but UPS doesn't deliver on the weekends ): GHEY

I also feel this terrible need to start altering clothes again. I'm feeling a little bit inspired lately and I haven't had much to do. Especially since I'm gunna be on lock down for awhile, might as well get some DIY done right? Not to mention I'm beginning to hate  everything in my closet.... WHICH SUCKS. Because I'm like I HAVE NOTHING TO FUCKING WEAR, meanwhile there's like 3 huge piles of clothes on my floor...... I'm just sick of wearing the same shit. I just need to go thrifting soon. But I also feel like I should be saving my money for a new pair of shoes... I've been dying for a pair of UNIF Hellbounds lately for some reason....  I can't even decide what color I would get them in if I ever did have the money for a pair. I couldn't choose between the neon pink and the black. Black would be easier to wear, but pink could be just as easy because I have a lot of black in my wardrobe..DSJFADJSKJS I don't even need to be thinking about that right now, mostly because I'm broke as fuq.

On lock down.

Sick as a fucking dog.

Bored as fuck.

Can't begin to explain the feeling.

I can go to bed feeling great for once.

Perfection.

I always get really fussy when I don't get to see someone who I care about. If it's been awhile, and I haven't seen you, and I really miss you, I get really frustrating. I feel like that's what all of this is. Hopefully things work out. ♥

Sometimes I just want to scream at you. A lot actually.

You're making this kind of hard for me.
Other times it's easy as breathing. But there are those instances where I'm like... ARE YOU KIDDING RIGHT NOW.
There's been two times like that, and both times I've felt 100% shitty. I don't get what even happened yesterday. I wasn't laughing at your feelings. I was laughing because I didn't think you were that dumb... C'mon. Anyone would have known I was joking. Either that shows 100% insecurity, or you need to rethink how you read some of the things I say.

Somehow, I end up getting over the bullshit really fast. I wouldn't consider yesterday a major issue, but you kind of just had me thinking "What the fuck are you doing right now..?" You keep telling me you trust me, but I feel like you're showing me that you don't or something. Which is backwards as fuck. But you should trust me because I'm not a cheating whore and there's literally not one other person that can hold my interest. (Other than a few select friends. But they're friends.. Obviously. They're also GIRLS. So.... Totez lezbo lol)

Don't make me regret giving second chances.. And don't take my kindness as weakness.

I can't even explain how I feel about the last few days. The only word I can find to express my feelings is


Fuck

Seriously, nothing has been going right. I've been stressed over little things, and it's fucking me up at work and I'm just all over the place. Today, REALLY sucked. I can't decide who to be upset with though. Myself? Parents? Anyone else? idk. So, I'm really not taking my frustrations out on anyone... Which is what I should ALWAYS do, but that isn't the case all the time. I just wish my parents would fucking trust me. Dad in particular. I'm not an idiot teenager, who goes out partying, sneaking out, doing drugs, has sex, gets shit faced, gets arrested, gets pregnant, gets an STD and anything else half the assholes I go to school with do... If I'm going out, I'm probably gunna be where I tell them I'm going to be. If I'm at Tiffany's house. We literally sit there and do nothing..... But it's not boring. I know there's the WELL SOMETHING COULD HAPPEN. Yeah. But, if you hold the WHAT IF thing over my head, and in your worries, you're never gunna want to do anything, and you're not going to let me actually live. I'm almost an "Adult", I wish you'd actually start treating me like I'm older than 13 or something. I like to think I'm a 17 year old girl, with an okay head on her shoulders.